15 Point Procedure For Illicit Love Affairs
In the following lines, I will present a procedure, which has been derived from the Quran, Sunnah, and statements of the saints. Insha Allah, one who is involved in evil glances and love affairs even for a very long time will be cured if he implements the following points in his/her life. After constantly practicing these points for a period, one will start to feel that one is treading the path towards the aakhirah, as if one is looking at jannat and jahannam. Then the carnal pleasure of this dunya will seem insignificant.
Appoint a time where you can be alone, wear clean clothes, apply some fragrance, and then pray two rak’ats with the niyyat of Salat-ut-Taubah. Then repent and seek forgiveness for all of your sins before Allah by saying, “O Allah, from the time I became baaligh (reached puberty), whatever wrong I have done with my eyes, or evil thoughts I had in my heart and mind, and derived haram pleasure, or whatever haram pleasure I obtained from sin with my body, O Allah, I repent from all of that and seek your forgiveness. I make a firm resolution to try not to anger You in any way in the future by committing sin. So, please forgive all my sins with Your unlimited mercy. O Allah, You are the most forgiving and You love to forgive, so forgive my sins.”
Then perform two rak’ats with the niyyat of Salat-ul-Haajah and make dua’ by saying, “O Allah, have mercy on my life that has been destroyed by sin. Reform me. Grant me a life of honor and obedience by releasing me from the slavery of my nafs. Grant me that much fear of You that can save me from disobeying You. O Allah, I only request Yourself from You.”
3. Zikr of Laa Ilaaha Illallah
Then recite 300 times (the amount should be stipulated after consultation with a Shaikh) while pondering over the fact that with the words Laa Ilaaha, the heart is becoming free of all things other than Allah, and with the words Illallah, the love of Allah is entering the heart.
4. Zikr of Ism-uz-Zaat (The Name of Allah)
Recite the words, “Allah, Allah” 300 times. When you recite the word Allah, and then imagine that your heart is also uttering the name of Allah along with your tongue. Take the name of Allah with an extreme feeling of love sincerely as you would remember someone after a long separation. This is the least of the stages of remembering Allah. If you cannot experience that feeling of love, then at least imitate those that do. The name of Allah is very great. When it comes on your tongue, it will not be void of any benefit, and it will become noor.
5. Ism-uz-Zaat in a Special Way
Make the zikr of the name of Allah one hundred times with the thought that the words “Allah, Allah” are coming out of every hair of the body. After a few days, think that together with every hair, the earth, sky, trees, stones, sea, land, birds, animals, and every atom of creation are making zikr.
6. Meditation of Allah Seeing You
Then meditate for a few minutes over the fact that Allah is watching you. Think that you are sitting in front of the Real Beloved and make dua, “O Allah, let me be able to imagine that You are watching me all the time so that I do not commit any sin.” When a person has this in mind, he/she will not have the courage to commit any sin.
Speak to Allah internally thus, “O Allah, when I was casting evil glances or when I was committing a sin, You were watching me at that time also with Your power and might. If you had commanded the earth to swallow me up at that time, or if You had me transformed into a monkey, the whole creation would see the spectacle of my disgrace. Had you involved me in some fatal illness at that time, what would my condition have been? But O Allah, You did not punish me due to Your tolerance and grace, You did not take me to account, otherwise my destruction was imminent.”
7. Meditation of Death and the Grave
Afterwards, remember death for some time. Think that all your companions, wife, children, relatives, friends, and all those who respectfully greeted you have gone. After your death, your clothes are being cut with scissors and removed from your body. Now you are being given ghusl. Then you are being placed in your kafn. You are now being removed out of your very own home by your wife, children, family, and friends. Your five senses that brought pleasure to the body are defunct. They eyes that used to look at attractive faces and derive haram pleasure now cannot see. The ears cannot listen to music, and the tongue cannot taste any food. All the enjoyments related to the natural elements have terminated. If the spirit has any noor of worship, and piety, then that will have benefit. Besides that, all other joy is now a dream.
Now ponder that you are being made to lie in the grave. Now the people are throwing dirt on you. You are being pressed under a ton of dirt in the solitude of your grave. Now there is no one with you. Only your good deeds are of benefit. The grave is either a garden of paradise or a pit of hell.
Remembering death excessively makes the heart disgusted with the world. One develops the ability to do good deeds. Remember death so much that its dread is changed into joy. Death for a believer is actually a message of meeting from the Real Beloved, Allah. After death, there is only rest and peace for the believer.
8. Meditation of the Reckoning
Then ponder for a few minutes that the plane of reckoning has been established. You are now standing before Allah to give an account of your deeds. Allah is telling you, “O shameless person, did you not feel any shame when you left Me and glanced at others and you became inclined towards a dying corpse? Was this Our right upon you? Did we create you for this purpose, that you attach your heart to others and forget Us? Did we grant you eyes so that you use it in haram places and for my disobedience? O Shameless one, you shamelessly used your eyes, ears, and heart that were given to you by Us in disobedience.
Then ponder that the order is being given to the angels, “Arrest this criminal. Chain him up, and then throw him into hell.” Then humbly ask Allah for forgiveness. Make dua’ for reforming your actions and a good ending of your life. Seek refuge from Allah’s anger.
9. Meditation of the Punishment of Hell
Meditate over the punishment of hell and think that hell is in front of your eyes. Speak to Allah thus, “O Allah, hell is a fire lit by You. Its harm will reach the hearts. The people of hell will burn in long pillar of fire. When their skin is burnt and it becomes black, as coal, then You will give them new skin, it will be burnt again and will be more painful. When they become hungry, they will be given thorny trees to eat. They will not be able to reject them. They will forcefully be fed. When they will be thirsty, You will give them boiling water to drink. They will not be able to reject the boiling water. They will drink it like thirsty camels. O Allah, that water will cause their intestines to tear up and will be excreted from their anus. O Allah, the people of hell will move between fire and boiling water. O Allah, when they cry, they will shed tears of blood. When they will try to flee due to the extreme punishment, they will be pushed back. O Allah, when they will have nowhere to go, they will come to you to ask for help. You will reply, “Remain in Hell, and do not speak to me.” O Allah, we cannot endure one spark of this world. How will we be able to tolerate the fire of hell, which is seventy time more severe than the fire of this world? O Allah, my actions are worthy of hell, but I seek Your mercy to protect me from the punishment of hell.” Ask this dua’ three times and weep profusely. If you cannot weep, then pretend as if you are weeping. Do this constantly. Your imaan will gradually increase. A day will come when you will feel as if hell is in front of your eyes. Then you will not be so brave to disobey Allah in any way. Allah will grant you the taufeeq to abstain from sin.
10. Meditation of the Divine Favors
Afterwards, ponder over the bounties of Allah and speak to Allah thus, “O Allah, my spirit did not ask you for its existence. Without my asking, You granted me existence through Your bounty. My spirit did not even ask you for a human form. Out of your grace, You did not make me in the form of a dog or pig or any other animal. You granted me the form of the best of creation, that is, You made me a human. O Allah, Had you brought me up in a kafir’s or mushrik’s house, what a loss it would have been for me. Even if I had a kingdom, I would have been worse than an animal due to kufr or shirk. Without asking, You granted me Islam and made me a prince. You gave me Iman without my asking. Iman is such a bounty, that all other favors and bounties in front of it are insignificant. When You have granted such favors, O Allah, how can You then deprive those who are begging of you? O Allah, I seek Your mercy through the means of Your unlimited favors, which I did not even request. I ask You to grant me reformation and purity of my soul through Your grace so that I can be saved from Your disobedience until I die. O Allah, You created me in a good home. You granted me love for your pious servants. You granted me the ability to practice deen. If Your guidance was not there, I would have been irreligious. O Allah, through Your grace alone have I been able to join the company of the saints. Had I joined some inexperienced or irreligious person, I would have been misled. O Allah, You granted me the company of the pious in this world. Therefore, grant me their company in the hereafter as well. O Allah, how many sins have I committed and You were watching me with Your full might and power at that time. However, through Your grace and mercy, You concealed my crimes and did not disgrace me. O Allah, may hundreds of thousands of lives be sacrificed for You. If you had to disclose my secrets to the creation, they will not even let me sit near them. O Allah, decide for me to die with Iman through Your grace. O Allah, grant me the first entry into paradise through Your mercy and grace.”
In this way, think about each bounty that Allah has granted you like wealth, health, honor, respect etc. Express excessive gratitude for these bounties. Finally say to Allah, “O Allah, Your favors and bounties are innumerable. They cannot be perceived. O Allah, I express my gratitude for every bounty of Yours – those which I have mentioned and those which I am unable to mention. O Allah, decide for my soul to be purified through Your grace and bounty.”
11. Safeguarding the Gaze
Those people who travel back and forth in the city should perform two rak’ats salat-ul-hajat before leaving the home. They should make dua’ to Allah thus, “O Allah, I give my eyes and my heart in Your protection. You are best of protectors.” Try to remain in the state of wudu as much as possible in the office, school, mall, and/or wherever. Remain engaged in the zikr of Allah. If you falter, seek forgiveness immediately. Specify four rak’ats as a punishment for every sin. According to your ability, designate a monetary fine to give in sadaqah also. If you are able to abstain from sin, then be thankful to Allah for this blessing.
12. Meditation of the Diminishing Nature of Beauty
If your gaze suddenly falls on some attractive face, immediately look at an ugly face. If an ugly face is not present, imagine there to be someone that has an ugly face scarred will zits and pimples, a blunt nose, long protruding teeth, bald-headed, fat, clumsy body, pot-bellied, smelling of farts with flies swarming all around him/her. Imagine that the attractive face you are looking at now will eventually become like this. Also ponder over how terrible, ugly, and rotten the corpse will be when this person has to die. Worms will be seen crawling out of the body. The stomach will blow up and burst. It will have such a stench that it will be difficult to even be near it. Why should you attach your heart to such an object that will perish? The benefit of pondering over an ugly face will be temporary. Then the urge to look at the attractive face will trouble you again. Accordingly, the method of weakening the urge is to muster up some courage and not act on the urge. Make the zikr or Allah excessively, entrench the thought of Allah’s punishment in your heart and adopt the company of a pious shaikh.
13. Meditation of the Harms of Evil Glances
Keep on pondering over the harms of evil glances. It is such a devastating illness that many people who were afflicted by it died in a state of kufr. Due to the ill fortune of evil glances, they became involved in illicit love affairs and could not rescue themselves even until the last breath. Instead of reciting the kalimah, they uttered something else. May Allah protect us all. Aameen!
14. The Cure for Illicit Love Affairs
If due to the unfortunate effect of evil glances, one becomes involved in an illicit love affair; one will have to adhere to the following additional factors:
-Completely cut-off all relations with the lover, i.e. speaking, looking, corresponding, sitting next to, or meeting. Stop all such actions to the extent that even if someone else mentions them, prevent them from doing so. Stay so far away from that person that meeting them becomes impossible. In fact, even by mistake there must remain no possibility of your gazing falling on them. In short, all relations should be completely severed.
-If there is a danger of the lover approaching, then quarrel with them intentionally so that they lose all hope of friendship with you.
-Do not intentionally think of them nor enjoy the imaginations of the past. This treachery of the heart is a major sin, which ruins the heart. Its harm is more than the evil glance even.
-Do not read love poems or novels. Abstain completely from movies, television, videos, and all other promiscuous things. Stay far from the environment of nudity and disobedience. Do not adopt the company of disobedient people.
-Think about how unfaithful the beauty of this world is. If someone has to sacrifice a hundred lives and much wealth on attractive people, and that attractive person falls for someone else, how would you feel?
-If the so-called beloved dies, then you send them to the graveyard quickly. In addition, if you die first, then your beloved becomes disgusted with your corpse. If the beauty of one of the two diminishes, then the “love” dissipates. How temporary is this love? Hazrat Thanwi (RA) has quoted a hadith in At-Tasharruf:
Love whomever you want to for you will be separated from them.
-Continue practicing the remaining acts mentioned above punctually. Your urge will continue to diminish gradually. Do not wish that all your urges be completely terminated. The aim is merely to weaken and overpower the urge to sin so that they come under control. By practicing the above-mentioned acts, Insha Allah, your nafs will come under control. In this way, you will be cured of all evils. Your heart and soul will perceive such rewards that will bring ecstasy to your soul all the time. The heart will experience such tranquility that even the kings cannot dream of. It will seem as if a life of hell has been transformed into a life of paradise.
15. The Most Important Prescription for Self-Reformation
The most important formula for reforming the self is to attend the company of a pious shaikh punctually. Listen to the discourses of the love of Allah because reforming the self and remaining steadfast on deen is generally very difficult, in fact almost impossible. Create a connection with a shaikh, one with whom you have some compatibility. Make him your religious consultant. Describe your condition to him, practice on his advice, and place your complete trust in him.
Please note that the zikr mentioned above is for a healthy person. If a person is ill or weak, he/she should decrease the amount of zikr with the consultation of the spiritual mentor. Remember that this method mentioned above will not be beneficial without consulting a shaikh. Accordingly, it is essential to maintain contact with a shaikh by being in his company or by correspondence and apprise him of your condition. Continue following whatever he prescribes and advises.
Perform two rak’ats of nafl salat daily and make dua’ to Allah humbly to purify your nafs and reform it because without Allah’s grace, no one can be purified. No one can achieve this favor without Allah’s grace and mercy.
Now I pray to Allah to make this procedure an extremely beneficial means of purifying the nafs of its evil qualities and may He grant us salvation from attaching our hearts to anything other than Allah. May He accept this service. Aameen!