Scolding is Necessary for Islah

“Those people whom I scold or get angry at, the reality of the matter is this that I want to make them better than myself even.  Although the average person may view this as non-compatibility and a lack of connection.  The teacher who constantly scolds a particular student or is very strict with him only behaves that way because the special focus and attention of the teacher is on that student, which in reality is done because the teacher cares a great deal for that particular student.  The teacher wants that the student become someone important.  Another example is the disciplinary actions taken by parents towards their children.  Can any sane person say that the parents do not care for their children?  Never.  Every sane person will testify that parents discipline their children for the betterment or the children.

Once an alim came to stay with me for a few days.  He was a happy go lucky type of person.  Sometimes  for his islah, I would point out his errors and scold him.  Through various means, I came to know that this made him very uncomfortable.  I said to myself that what need do I have, I did not ask him to come.  He came on his own accord.  So, I changed my way of interacting with him and this became apparent to him.  My change in behavior towards him actually made him feel happy.  He felt that he is being honored and dignified, when in reality, this was the sad part.  All of this is for the person who is of sound intellect and understanding, not for the one who is not understanding and cannot see the broader picture.”

-Malfuzaat Hakeem-ul-Ummat Vol. 7 pg. 248 #392

Explore posts in the same categories: Aadaab-Etiquettes and Manners, Ahwaal, Akaabir, Fikr, Razaail, Spiritual Diseases and Their Remedies

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