The Method of Attaining Adab

Hazrat Thanwi (RA) says:

Adab is based on this principle that the other person should not be troubled or inconvenienced. This is the general principle that one should keep in mind because this is the purpose and goal. All other issues related to adab are tangents of this main principle. These branches of adab are related to matters of organization or systemization which change over time. Just like before, people did not tell time by clocks and watches, nor did they travel by cars and planes. They used to used to tell time by the sun and travel on horseback or on camels. So with regards to mashaa’ikh, the particular Shaykh’s temperament and preference should be taken into consideration, and one should figure out what things would inconvenience the Shaykh and what would not. One should not take lessons of adab from books and then implement them on their Shaykh because every time and every place the nature of inconvenience changes. What might have bothered a Shaykh from 20 years ago may not bother a present day Shaykh. One should also not over do it in adab because over doing anything causes inconvenience.

–Anfaas-e-‘Eesaa pg. 47

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