Characteristics of a Muslim Husband
I received the following from a dear friend, Mufti Nawaz Ahmed Khan Sahib (DB), and I thought it was an interesting read. Towards the end of the email, it said in all caps, “NOW BE BRAVE AND SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR MALE FRIENDS!” So, I thought, forget my male friends, I’ll just let everyone read it. Those who would like to benefit from it may do so. For the women who read, please do not rub this into your husbands’ faces because it won’t work to fix the situation. In fact I believe many things here are applicable to women also respectively. This should be read with the intention to rectify ourselves and not knit-pick and find faults in others.
No one ever thinks about the characteristics of a Muslim husband. It is always what a wife should do for the husband…and the list never ends; home management, tutoring, ferrying the kids, caring, cooking, cleaning, washing, working, you name it, she is doing it. So what about the brothers?
Our beloved Prophet SAW was not like this. So, why should the men of this Ummah? It is quite interesting. So I thought I’d share it with you!!! What a Muslim husband should be like…
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for the best clothing? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (PBUH) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (PBUH) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Hadeeth when the Prophet (PBUH) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even when he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (PBUH) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (PBUH) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (PBUH): ‘The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.’ Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah Ta’ala to make your marriage successful.